Thursday, July 13, 2006
i wake with a jolt. it's 630, soldier's habit. but what is this emotion that grips me, and cause me to bend over and curl forwards like a stroke and i cannot move. what is this emotion that i cannot name from some strange strata of human consciousness; my mind is able to think and articulate normally, unlike in anger or sadness. but my heart seems leaden, heavy it makes breathing difficult. it feels also like someone got hold of a thick stringe and injected into my heart with a viscous mixture of lava and sorrow. and with each beat, spreads itself inside me. doubled forward, i think. my cure is you. my body/i need you by my side.
i get this in the early mornings, when the mind is not yet awake. the day is just an evasion or a coverup. my mind tells me i dont need you lest i drown in sorrow.
Posted by Dominic at 6:51 AM